Why do I even bother?

For the past couple of Saturdays, I've gone ahead and come to school...only to get nothing done. Today seems to be no exception. I've been here for an hour and all I have to show for it is my whiteboard is all written up for Monday (with what we're doing, walk-in activities, word of the week, etc.) I never get anything done, so why do I persist in coming up here? Next Saturday, I need to just remind myself that if I drive all the way up here, I'm just going to mess around, not get anything done, and spend all Sunday doing it anyway, so I may as well sleep in and enjoy my Saturday. On the other hand, I do get to listen to Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! every Saturday....

I keep telling myself it's going to get easier, everyone else keeps telling me it's going to get easier...what I want to know is when is going to get easier???? I'm tired all the time, and I never get to see Sam, much less my friends and family. We rented a cute silly movie last night, and I was going to snuggle and give Sam some of the attention and non-school related conversation he so richly deserves...but I fell asleep after 20 minutes. I just wish I had a week off to slow down, take a deep breath, get well and truly planned and ready and organized, then we can start the next six weeks. Of course, I'm not doing any myself any favors by sitting around and whining, so I guess I'll just stop now. Love to all!

Update: it's now an hour later...guess how much I've accomplished? Not a damn thing. I looked up to discover I'd wasted an hour surfing blogs of other first-year teachers. Which makes me feel less alone, but not any less behind. I suck at this job.