Crazy Aunt Lorien

2006-12-05T13:37:00.000-08:00

It's been a loooong day.

But a good day, I just haven't recovered from the all-nighter I pulled on Sunday. I was trying to catch up on my grading and lesson planning and stuff. I got about two weeks behind after the accident, but I can't seem to catch up; I was already running as fast as I could! Anyway, I'm so far behind, but what am I doing during my conference period... not work, that's for sure. I always feel like I need a break after classes, then I usually get back to the grindstone once school lets out. Not a good policy, I know. This post appears to be stupid, pointless and dull. Sorry. I now open up a contest: interesting things for Lorien to talk about. Who ever wins gets...um...oh I give up. I'll try again in a few days.

2006-11-26T16:47:00.000-08:00

Sorry guys

I know I haven't posted on here in a while. But since Keri died, I've just been really really busy. I'm still trying to decide if I want to post anything on here about that whole story. Probably not, it makes me sad. But as of right this minute, I am decorating my first ever real Christmas tree with Sam, and I am ecstatically happy! If you're really lucky, I'll even post a picture of it when we're done! Love to all!

2006-10-16T15:03:00.000-07:00

And it's over

The weekend, that is. It was too short, and we didn't do a darn thing, except rearrange the living room! Which Sam did all by his lonesome, while I was at Petra's drinking beer and watching movies. Oh yeah, we also went to the Football game...which we won! It was so much fun. And our marching band is pretty awesome, at least, they blew the other teams band out of the water...Anyway, there's not really a whole lot I can ever post here anymore, since my life pretty much revolves around school, and I write about school on a different page. If you wanna know where to go to see it, give me a call or leave me a comment, I'll make sure you find out!
Love to all!

2006-10-12T12:09:00.000-07:00

Grr.

I started a NEW blog, just for anonymous school stuff....but my profile was on it. As far as I can tell, there's no way to show my profile on one blog, but not the other. Whatever. I'm having a bad day. Sometimes doing what you're supposed to do makes you feel like a real jerk.

2006-10-10T13:48:00.000-07:00

Darn

I thought I was being sufficiently vague and discrete on here, when talking about school stuff. But older and wiser heads have told me otherwise. So I deleted my most recent post, and I'll delete any others that you guys think are out of line. In the meantime, where am I supposed to bitch about school if not on my "bitch about school" page???

Non-school stuff: The fair was awesome! In no particular order I:
-Saw the biggest pig I've ever seen in my life
-Saw some mutant pigeons, and asked Sam if we could buy one (they were only $10! He said no.)
-Ate a foot long corny dog
-Watched the 18th year of the bird show
-Got slingshotted (or just shot? is slingshot even a verb?) 220 ft in the air in less than 3 seconds...twice (P.S., that's a GREAT website, it goes into extreme detail...in case you ever want to buy your own.)
-Sat in a Yaris, the new car I want when I get a new car
-Watched drunk Longhorns and Sooners harass each other
-Saw a sculpture of Marylin Monroe and Frank Sinatra....made entirely out of butter
-Saw a cross-stiched portrait of Clay Aiken (it got second prize)
-Oh yeah, ate some fudge too.

Also, Sam and I made our combination birthday (both of ours)/two year anniversary plans. We're going on vacation.....to Oklahoma! Right before Thanksgiving. It'll be better than it sounds. We're going to the casino that's only about 45 minutes from our house, but we're staying in the nicest little B&B while we're there. It's also right near Lake Murray and Turner Falls, in case I get tired of slot machines (yeah right!) or run out of allotted gambling money. I'm really looking forward to it, since we've never been on a real vacation together before. :)

Anyway, enough of this. Love to all, even the anonymous student who wrote "bitch" on my door. I'll take it as a good sign that I'm not being too much of a pushover!

2006-10-06T13:11:00.000-07:00

Oopsie...

I finally lost my cool with my fifth period class. I believe my exact words were "Sit down and stop talking, RIGHT NOW. I WILL NOT tolerate this level of disrespect. I have tried to be as polite and respectful to y'all as I can, but this is not going to happen anymore. The next person who opens their mouth is out of my classroom!" I don't think they knew I could yell like that. I think I sent a total of like ten kids out of my room (not all at the same time), and after five minutes or so, I'd ask them if they could be quiet, and respectful. If they said yes, great, if they tried to argue that it wasn't fair, it wasn't their fault, blah blah blah, I left them out there for five more minutes. I was surprised that they stayed there! I always thought if I sent any of them out of the room that they would just take off. Anyway, allthough it worked today, yelling at my students is NOT a viable long term solution. I hope it cools them down enough so that we can start over with the established procedures that were never quite established in that class.

I also took up two computers yesterday, two today, AND a cell phone. I've gotten downright evil! Is it bad that I get a sick satisfaction out of confiscating their laptops? I guess it's cause it reminds me that I am the adult, and I really am the one in charge...

Last but not least, as soon as I can get everything cleaned out and cleaned up in here (my standard Friday routine), and make an appearance at the weekly science department ice cream social, I am outta here!! I have a long weekend. Well, not really. Monday is a teacher workday, which feels like a vacation, 'cause sitting through seminars all day is way easier than teaching class.

So anyway, I have a pseudo long weekend, AND....I'm going to the Fair on Saturday! Yay! You know how Kermit the Frog sounds when he gets all excited and shouts "Yaaaaaaaay!" and waves his arms in the air? That's me. I cannot WAIT. I've got two free tickets from work, plus a salary! Sam's never even been, poor thing! Gah, I'm going to explode. I need to use all this pent up energy to be productive so, I'll add more to this later. Love to all!

2006-10-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

We made it...

...and it wasn't that bad. Except for fifth period. I have completely lost control of that class, I can't deny it any longer. I'm not sure how to get it back. Any suggestions would be nice, allthough I seem to have tried every progressive non-authoritative method I can think of. Now, how do I do the conservative authoritative thing? It's totally against my nature, but all the "nice" methods have thus far been unsuccesful for me. How do I do the mean "don't smile until Christmas" thing?

Also, my kids finally caught on that they've already done everything we're doing in my class! It took them 6 1/2 weeks, but we finally got to a part of the curriculum that most of them kinda remember. Of course, they didn't seem to remember the content during the informal "tell me everything you know about electricity" discussion we had, but the lab, they remember. In spite of a chorus of "Miss, we did this last year!" (or the years before that in some cases) they seemed to have a pretty good time playing with the circuits anyway. The teacher in me is tempted to add buzzers and dimmers to the mix tomorrow, but the rational human inside of me is saying "light bulbs and switches are plenty, they don't need buzzers, are you crazy???" I'll decide in the morning based on how up to it I feel. Anyway, I need to quit procrastinating, and get finished so I can get out of here and go HOME, that place I sleep at, and used to spend time at!

Love to all!

2006-10-04T05:52:00.000-07:00

Lord Help Me

...and them, to get through another day. It's been a long week, and it's only Wednesday! Love to all!

2006-10-01T22:08:00.000-07:00

My Teaching Fantasy

When I took this job at a poor, almost (but not quite) inner-city school, I told myself it was because the kids up in the rich white suburbs could succeed no matter who taught them, but that I could really make a difference down here (conceited, I know). But lately, i.e. while grading my first six weeks exams, I find myself fantasizing about teaching somewhere where all my students could speak english, could read, could do basic math, had a home to go to, didn't have kids of their own, cared about passing, and paid attention to me. Is that wrong? I'm just feeling ever so slightly jaded tonight, and I'm starting to doubt my ability to teach these kids anything, cause for all the hard work I've been doing, I'm not seeing a whole lot of evidence that they are improving at all...Maybe it's because the ones who need the most help are running down to content mastery where my resource teacher "helps" them by giving them the answers, or even just doing it for them. I graded more than one test tonight that was in her hand writing...and NOT because they are physically incapable of writing. But that's a story for another day, after I've had my discussion with the VP about the problem. Love to all, including my students, even if they frustrate me sometimes.

P.S. Good teacher thing I did: told the nurse about one of my students who can't see. She screened his vision to confirm and is trying to hook him up with free glasses from the Lions Club (I hope he wears them if he gets them...)

2006-09-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

Why do I even bother?

For the past couple of Saturdays, I've gone ahead and come to school...only to get nothing done. Today seems to be no exception. I've been here for an hour and all I have to show for it is my whiteboard is all written up for Monday (with what we're doing, walk-in activities, word of the week, etc.) I never get anything done, so why do I persist in coming up here? Next Saturday, I need to just remind myself that if I drive all the way up here, I'm just going to mess around, not get anything done, and spend all Sunday doing it anyway, so I may as well sleep in and enjoy my Saturday. On the other hand, I do get to listen to Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! every Saturday....

I keep telling myself it's going to get easier, everyone else keeps telling me it's going to get easier...what I want to know is when is going to get easier???? I'm tired all the time, and I never get to see Sam, much less my friends and family. We rented a cute silly movie last night, and I was going to snuggle and give Sam some of the attention and non-school related conversation he so richly deserves...but I fell asleep after 20 minutes. I just wish I had a week off to slow down, take a deep breath, get well and truly planned and ready and organized, then we can start the next six weeks. Of course, I'm not doing any myself any favors by sitting around and whining, so I guess I'll just stop now. Love to all!

Update: it's now an hour later...guess how much I've accomplished? Not a damn thing. I looked up to discover I'd wasted an hour surfing blogs of other first-year teachers. Which makes me feel less alone, but not any less behind. I suck at this job.

2006-09-27T13:48:00.000-07:00

I am having a horrible day

1. My dog died yesterday. Yes I knew it was coming, but I'm still really really bummed.

2. A minor issue in one of my classes yesterday has been blown way out of proportion by a prima donna student, getting another student in far more trouble than they deserve, and making me look really really bad.

3. I had to cancel the fun jeopardy review for one of my classes and give them a "sit down and shut up" type speech (but professional, of course), and send one of them to the office where he got a Saturday detention that he will undoubtedly blame me for and give me trouble about it for the next few days.

4. My after school meeting that I figured would take around 30 minutes is actually going to take about two hours, which means I have to cancel my plans to go bowling with Mike and Keri for Keri's birthday. It also means I have to go to the 7:30 AM faculty meeting tomorrow instead of the one this afternoon.

5. My paycheck had $700 worth of deductions! Is this normal? I guess I didn't know what to expect, never having had a decent salary before.

I want to go home and mope.

2006-09-25T13:13:00.000-07:00

Note to self:

Cocina, is pronounced co-SEE-na, which is Spanish for kitchen. It is NOT pronounced co-CHEE-na, which is Spanish for a dirty girl, for example, a girl who sleeps around, who doesn't take care of herself, thinks or says something raunchy (thanks to urbandictionary.com). I did NOT eat dinner at Mi Cochina on Saturday, I had dinner at Mi Cocina. And it was good too.

2006-09-23T11:34:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to hate Saturdays

I always say I'm going to go in on Saturday and get sooo much done. But once I get here, I usually don't get that much accomplished. What happens is, I think I have so much time, so I don't prioritize very well, or tell myself I'm going to start with things I can only do at school, which usually involves organizing or printing out large quantities of things, but is usually not that vital for the next week. Next thing I know, it's five o'clock and my classroom looks great, but I haven't gotten anything graded or even created as the case may be. Or I don't go at all, like last week. Either way, I end up staying up all night Sunday to finish everything I need to for Monday. Which is why I'm so tired all week, and is generally just a really bad idea. I'm not very good at this time management thing...The point of all this is, I'm fighting the little voice in my head that says "get out of here, and take it with you, you can do it just as well at home, besides, you have all day tomorrow," which I don't cause it's my BIRTHDAY!!!!! I'm going to lunch with my family. And now, for some fun facts about my birthday (from fun4birthdays.com, which sucks, so it doesn't get it's own link):

Famous People born on September 24th:
1936 Jim Henson (creator the "The Muppets") (I knew that one already, he's my hero!)
1941 Linda McCartney (photographer, singer)

On This Day In History:
1906 President Theodore Roosevelt declares Devil's Tower the first US National Monument. (This just reminds me of Close encounters of the third kind, which scares the piss out of me, given my fear of aliens)

24 September is also:
Independence Day (Guinea-Bissau)
Heritage Day (South Africa)
Republic Day (Trinidad and Tobago) (I think I should go celebrate with them....)

So, in conclusion, I am going home now, to join Sam and Chris at their IHOP study campout where I WILL get stuff done. I'm not allowed to go out for my birthday until I have written my review packet and graded half my classes. I can grade the other half tomorrow after lunch, as long as I don't put it off till 10PM like I have past weekends, it should work out...I can do that, that's reasonable... *sigh* I'm hopeless. But still going home.

Love to all!

2006-09-22T16:07:00.000-07:00

Do you think it'll work?

...It would take a miracle. So, I'm going to the school musical tonight, and it's too far to go home first, so I was surfing/killing time halfway productively, looking for a primary care physician. Yes, I have health insurance now, yay! But the directory search for my insurance doesn't tell you squat about the doctors. So I thought, I'll look for the doctor first, then see if they're on my insurance. So I was trying to find a PCP with some experience in working with adult ADD, since it's my main health issue right now. Anyway, I found this: planner software made specifically for adult ADD. It sounds like it could be cheesy, or it could be GREAT...problem is, what kind of unorganized crazy ADD crack monkey (i.e., me) would ever manage to get the thing set up? I'm afraid I'd never ever use it, just like every other planner/calander I've ever tried to keep. I can't seem to use a planner that's more sophisticated than my current system: a forest of post-its, growing out of my desk like a fungus. Of course...it DOES come with a free trial..but it's a pay for it, then if you don't like it, you can give it back kind of trial. Hmmm.... Any thoughts? Of course, the obvious solution is to QUIT surfing, QUIT rambling on my blog, make a stupid Drs Appointment and renew my perscription. Gah. It's been a long week. Love to all!

2006-09-21T05:46:00.000-07:00

If my kids sleep in class...

...Does that mean I'm allowed to? My body is vociferously demanding more sleep. How bad would it look if I snuck in a little nap while they're working on their group projects?
I'm just kidding, I would never do that...at least not on purpose ;) More to come, love to all.

2006-09-13T13:09:00.000-07:00

My sister-in-law is right.

Benjamin left me this comment:

Amanda always says: work expands to fill the time alloted. That is, give yourself less time to work, and you'll probably find you still get the job done. This has limits, sure, but there's no reason you have to consistantly work seven days a week. It's unhealthy, it's ineffective, and it's a sin.

Y'all are so right! Shortly afer making Saturday's rather depressing post, I quit. No, not my job, I quit worrying about it so much! I quit freaking out over how much I had to do! I relaxed a little! And you know what? It's true. I'm still getting stuff done, I still have lessons planned and papers graded (well, I will by Friday anyway!). Although I must say, thank God for BrainPOP! Also, I had 11 parents show up for meet the teacher night at school, and several of the parents mentioned that their kids thought I was pretty good. Also, I got to observe some other teachers at the central high school who teach the same class as I do, and guess what? I'm doing a great job! At least on par with the more experienced teachers, and, pardon my ego, maybe a little better in some areas. It made me feel good. Anyway, there isn't a darn thing that I HAVE to do tonight, so even though I may regret it tomorrow night, I'm going to get as much done during my conference period as I can (well, after I finish wasting time writing in my blog...) and then I'm taking the night off. It's Project Runway night with Petra anyway. I've missed it the past two weeks, so damn it, I'm going tonight! I cheering for Kayne, even he is tacky. That's why I like him! YAY! Love to all!

P.S. I am now officially out of Adderall. Luckily, I don't have to be too focused to supervise long-term group projects. :)

2006-09-09T10:08:00.000-07:00

How long does it take?

...before I quit living, breathing, eating, sleeping, and dreaming about school? Don't get me wrong, I like my job (no matter how often it makes me want to throw hands up in the air and quit, to run home and bury myself under the covers for at least two weeks before coming out for food...), but I miss my friends! I miss watching TV! I miss hanging out, and having some time to myself to think about something besides school. Sam noticed, he got a little upset the other weekend when we went out for dinner (finally!) and I spent like three hours straight talking about school. *sigh* But it's another Saturday, and where am I? At school. I promised myself I'd prioritize so that when I leave here today at five, I'll be done (or have enough done) that I can take tomorrow off and NOT think about school for a whole day. Fat chance. If I didn't love it so much I would've quit two weeks ago. Love to all! (and happy birthday to James!)

2006-08-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday...

...I had a nervous breakdown. This is so freakin' hard! Way too much paperwork to deal with, not nearly enough time to do it in. Plus, I'm just way behind in terms of getting organized. So I said to hell with it and got a good nights sleep (don't worry, I didn't say to hell with it till AFTER I had the minimum done to ready for class today). Now tonight, I'm still just as far behind, if not more, but instead of having a nervous breakdown, I managed to work quite efficiently and cheerfully. Guess I just needed some sleep! I'm looking forward to that three day weekend though...I'm gonna need every minute of it! Here's to keeping my head above water for a full five days of classes! Only, what, 35 more weeks to go?

P.S. District subscriptions to online streaming videos are good things. Very very good things.
P.P.S. Sorry no link, but I'm too tired to hunt for one. Deal.
P.P.P.S Love to all!

2006-08-23T18:52:00.000-07:00

First Day of Class!

Everything went really well. Yeah, the first day was pretty boring, cause I couldn't think of a way to make class rules and procedures exciting and fun, but all in all it went pretty well. My biggest problem...I couldn't get them to talk! I thrive on feedback, so it was driving me a little nuts, but if that's my biggest problem then I'm golden! I'm all set for class tomorrow, and I know what I'm doing Friday and Monday, but I haven't got it set-up up. After that, it's a void. I am so far behind in terms of getting my desk/room/general orginization/long-term planning set up. I'm hoping that I can get into the building on Saturday for a extra teacher work day, cause I really really need it. I spent all of yesterday's teacher work day getting my paperwork sorted out, and stayed at school till like 9:30 just trying to ready for day one. How on earth do normal teachers get everything done in one conference period? So, in summation, my first day was great, but I'm way behind in general. And my feet hurt. I wish that my comfy nurse shoes matched my uber-professional attire.

Other news: Sam is registered for classes! Thirteen whole hours, and two psych classes! He's really nervous, but also very very excited. Me too, I'm so proud of him for going back to school hard core. Given my upbringing, education is really important to me, so I'm really glad that he hasn't given up on school. Besides, it makes him happy :) So everybody wish him oodles of luck!
(and me too...can you believe I have to do this again? everyday? for the next nine months? Crazy! But fun. I hope. GAH, I need to chill out and go to bed.)

Love to all!

This just in: We're in the middle of HUGE thunderstorm, which would be cool, if Sam hadn't hopped in the car to go get food two minutes before it started...

2006-08-20T18:02:00.000-07:00

I hate Sundays...

...Especially this one. I'm starting to freak out a little. Well, a lot. I refuse to give in! I can DO this, I know I can. And I'll be really really good at it.

2006-08-16T16:03:00.000-07:00

First day of Staff Development!

I had a fantastic time! The more time I spend at school, the more convinced I am that I am at the right school for me, even if it is a long drive. We had a crash course in classroom management today, a la Harry Wong. And for lunch, all the science staff went out to CiCi's. I met my school mentor, and my dept. chair, and just had a great time. Now, if I could just figure out where to put my desk... Love to all!

2006-08-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

I'm too lazy...
... to make a real post. If you want something interesting to read, go read this. It has given me about fifteen gaziliion ideas for decorating my classroom. Who needs an inspirational poster of a cat falling out of a tree, or the same ol' lame periodic table, when you can have warning labels on all your equipment and supplies (for example: Caution! The mass of this product contains the energy equivilant of 85 million tons of TNT per net ounce! Or, This is a %100 matter product. In the unlikely event that this product should contact antimatter in any form, a catastrophic explosion will result.) or a safety poster that tells you what really happens if you get shoved out of an airlock without a spacesuit (Warning, don't hold your breath!). Okay, so I'll have all that AND the periodic table. No science classroom should be without one. Of course, having a well decorated classroom will mean squat if I don't get around to writing up all the rules and policies that have been floating through my head in a disjointed fashion. Ooooohhh....I am officially soliciting class rules from my readers. Not that I have that many. Thanks for all the comments btw, I just hope some of y'all come back again and leave me MORE comments (I know, I'm greedy). Oohh, a contest: As soon as I get 100 real comments (i.e. not sending me twenty per day that say "purple monkey dishwasher") I will give y'all a present: I'll post the pattern for my knit/stuffed platypus. Hah! That should get 'em roling in... Now, for a bath, followed by some cleaning of my apartment, followed by... who knows? Love to all!

P.S. Two "oohs" in one post...does that require a ramble warning?

2006-08-05T22:29:00.000-07:00

What is the Point?

...of posting here if no one reads it? If you do, leave me a comment. If you don't well, I suppose that's my fault. And finally, the news you've all been waiting for... Duh da da duh! I got a job! Yes, a high school principal has decided that she would be happy to trust the science education of countless impressionable youths to your's truly. If she trusts me, I suppose I should trust myself huh? I'm really really excited, and as always, really really terrified. It'll pass. I start on Tuesday! So wish me luck! Love to all!

2006-07-27T19:05:00.000-07:00

I Am Still Alive

...but not much more can be said. Little bit of job hunting, little bit of cleaninnnn, ot much else. I have started taking my Adderall again though. I was saving my last supply until I get a job and benefits and a new prescription, but who knows when tha will be? I do know for fact that I am muc happier since I got back on it, and am making much more progress on the job front. Well, progress in that I am putting in a lot more effort, but it still hasn't paid off. It will though. In the meantime, Sam is happilly employed, and going back to school in a month with the help of some sweet goverment aid. Also, happy birthday to Andrew! I actually got him a birthday present, then forgot to bring it to the party (which was fantastic fun, btw, good job Andrew!) I'll hopefully be posting more, once I have more to post! In the meantime, if you read this, leave me a comment, so that I know that people read this. Love to all!

2006-07-15T19:06:00.000-07:00

I'm not very good at this.

I'm not very good at remembering to post things, am I? I'm feeling not very good at anything lately, but who wants to dwell on the negative? So on to good things!

I got to visit my shiny new neice in person, it was wonderful. She is the most wonderful beautiful thing in all the world, and also cute and tiny! I'm so proud of my brother for his life in general. He's so happy and succesful and everything I want to be. Well, generally speaking. I don't want his specific job, house, spouse or to live in Houston, I just want to be happy and well-adjusted and successful. Anyway.

What else? We didn't game last week (gaming = playing Dungeons and Dragons. Quit laughing.) because Chris's mom and sister were in town, so we all went over to their apartment and grilled steak, and I had a wonderful afternoon with my urban family.

Yesterday was my Dad's birthday, so I met Mom and Dad and James at the Oar House in Rockwall. It was really really tasty. I'm not Benjamin though, so that's really al I have to say about the food. Maybe he'll eat there someday and review it for you.

So that's it. I got myself invited to one party tonight, and subsequently deinvited (cause the guy who's house it is at didn't want anyone he'd never met in his house), but there's one more party that I might make an appearance at. I'm so social.

Sam and I signed the lease on our apartment for another year, so now I'm feeling reinspired to decorate, or at least rearrange the furniture. We have a coherent style, but the problem is we have three or four different styles trying to coexisit in one small apartment. I need HGTV to come fix it for me.

Love to all!